Do you enjoy eating egg tarts? I hope you won't be put off by my frankness when I tell you that I absolutely love them. In fact, I enjoy no food item more than a freshly-baked egg tart.
Now, I've met a lot of people in my life, and it's true that quite a few people do not share this opinion. I'm sorry to say that these people have always angered me. There are two types of people in this world: those who eat egg tarts whenever it is possible to do so, and those who opt to do other things with their free time.
Who do the latter think they are kidding? What pastime could be more rewarding than the consumption of egg tarts? I haven't yet found one, and I don't expect to in my lifetime.
Unlike other foods, egg tarts can be eaten at any time, in any place, and it is not necessary to cook them. Now, I ask you: Why not eat egg tarts? They are delicious. I carry a box of egg tarts with me wherever I go. I eat them from the box whenever I get the urge, regardless of the circumstances. When I‘m at work, my egg tarts are my colleagues, my co-workers, my friends. If, in the middle of helping a client, I decide I want to consume an egg tart, I do so. I waste the client’s time and company time, but in the end, it is all worth it, because I enjoy egg tarts more than I enjoy working.
This bothers some people. I had the chance to work for a really good company, but when the boss learned of my egg tart cravings, he hired someone else. To this day, I am peeved about this.
When I worked at a call centre a long time ago, I ate over 800 egg tarts a day. It was necessary. My job was extremely intense, and I found the inspiration to work hard through my intense love for egg tarts. One of my co-workers said that he never wanted to work with me again. I kept eating egg tarts when I spoke to clients, and that seemed to bother him. I say f*ck him. He doesn't even like egg tarts.
I would like to end by emphasizing once again that I really like to eat egg tarts. If any of you people disagree, I loathe you. I despise you. Not only that, but I also despise all your loved ones. I want to see them torn to pieces by wild dogs. If I ever meet you in person, I'll smash your brains in with a f*cking bat. Then we'll see who doesn't like egg tarts. **
** blatantly plagarized from Christopher Walken's essay on hot dogs...=)